Economic Models explained with Cows

listen and learn from the bovines

SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away...

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows.
No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.

THE ANDERSEN MODEL
You have two cows.
You shred them.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month,and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows.
None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy....

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

Credits...thanks to Chantal for sending this hilarious list to us.

Our mate Hugo!

The wonders of nature

BBY transformation

Bye bye Sydney - hello BBY!

BBY visitors!

Birthday joy flight with Hils

Welcome Tobias - a few pics

Proud Owners of a Tractor

As usual it's been a long time. We've been in Sydney (where else) and for those of you who haven't heard, I'm about to re hash the whole sorry 5 weeks again.

So we had the big family reunion on the June long weekend at the Harbour View Rocks. Well what a hoot. 56 turned out and I am pleased to say it started at midday and finished around 10.00 pm. Not bad for a bunch of oldies. Mum was convinced she was Paris Hilton for the afternoon, without of course all the additional trimmings the media and world would soon forget. Not sure where that one came from, I think because everyone was waiting on her.

Following that social success, I had commenced a round of coffee catch ups with work ops and Megsie went into the EIA's office to work (complaining all the way about having to wear proper work clothes instead of the trackies she usually hangs out in on the farm!). The coffees paid off and, after a good 6 weeks or so of rest and play, I scored some work with CBRE which I am currently doing remotely. Of course before starting work I had my list (yes that list that list which is on the fridge) of things to do which I meandered my way through. Plus as Thom was pretty round by this time, I did some things around the house and went shopping with Thom after she finished up at work.

Which brings me to Thom. Of course we had just put the roast lamb on with all the trimmings and she decides that its time to have a baby. So in between us bathing Hugo and putting him to bed, Thom starts on the road to having a baby. Within 2 hours (!!) Tobias Otto Schmidt was born...Thom was delighted but Megsie felt ripped off! As 2IC she had packed a bag for a week with sustenance to last 2 weeks. Megsie and Gary arrived home around 1.00 am for champagne with me. A couple of bottles later and we decided to call it a night. Hugo of course, not cognisant of the time we went to bed, awoke at 5.30 am. Being the trooper I am, I got up to have some early morning snuggles on the couch while Megs and Gary enjoyed a well earned rest (well they said they earnt it!). But all is good...Tobias is a cutie and Hugo hasn't used him as his rugby sparing partner, yet.

So with the baby born, our reason for being in Sydney disappeared. I had to sort out some work and we left most happily a week or so later. We stopped on the way out of Sydney for lunch with Gav and Chantal (Megsie brother and wife). Thom, Gary, Hugo and Toby came along as well and what a treat to spend some time together overlooking the Hawkesbury. We knew we were on the way home.

I did miss out saying we caught up with many friends during our time in the big bad city. however due to the impending birth (and the crappy weather!) we did stay pretty low. Sorry to those we did not see, but will endeavour to get our act together when next in town.

Moving on. We did our usual stay over at Dots (megise mum) and loaded up the ute with all our goodies, including the new bike (postie bike go fast red). It's a treat and Megsie is in love with it. Of course when we left Old Bar it was pissing with rain and very windy...but we were happy to be driving into the bush away from everyone.

Jen and Jim will be relieved that no creatures decided to party on whilst away and the only tell tale sign of residence were the green poos scattered around the house. Green meaning "I've eaten the yummy bait and I'm off to die". Sorry, but until we get the house completed with no holes its that or wake up next to a furry friend.

We only had a couple of days to get ourselves together when my brother arrived with Cathy and 4 kids. Those that know our place will understand what a tight fit that would be. All good, we survived and had a great time. The weather was fab and we went out the back on quad, postie and ute. Went for a lovely walk and looked over the estate......... Alex and Oliver had a drive of the ute, first time, and both did extremely well. The tractor is ready to be delivered but I wont be around next week so it will have to wait until a couple of weeks. I am sure Megsie will post photos of this one for sure.

We are off to Dots 70th birthday for Saturday night but leaving here tomorrow. That list again beckons. Meanwhile we are the proud parents of 11 new heifers (6 months old and a cross between herefords and friesians) and they look fab. Our family is growing both animal and farm toys.

I'm off to Sydney next week to then make the trip to Melbourne for a couple of days. For those in Melbourne I will be working at Mt Waverley which I understand is not close to much. So I probably wont be seeing you this time. Once back from Sydney I plan to head straight back to the farm and hopefully we will be staying here for a while. Anyone interested in coming for a night or so just let us know. I'll let you touch my tractor.........

We have now watched Season 5 of the West Wing and were nearly in tears when Donna had her car blow up in Gaza. It just gets better. What will we ever do once we're through Season 7?!?! Thankfully our saviour, Chantal, is bringing Season 6 & 7 up with her for the weekend. For now its back to bigpond videos....... damn it.... but not bad anyway.

So, thats it in a nutshell. We are very happy here and the weather has been fabulous, a little windy today and very cold at night, a great frost cover the other morning, even sidd tip toed across the lawn. Talk next time.

Rosi